One person’s food is other person’s poison- thus goes the famous saying. The reasons for such stark differences between two persons and in other cases not so stark differences between two people could be many. Basically the differences arise out of the way different people are differently made up of- the differences arising out of the differences in their HSoftware.
A Sikh (sardar) gentleman once told us this little story that we wish to share with you. The story relates to the time when this Sikh gentleman was studying in USA. He used to share an apartment with a person who was a proper British chap. As you are aware a Sikh is supposed to have long hair on his head which are covered by a turban and he must never shave his beard. But our Sikh friend was an exception. After going to USA he flouted both these rules and he was then a clean shaven sardar and never wore a turban on his cropped hair of the head while in USA. On the other hand, our very proper British gentleman who was sophistication personified at his home in England, grew lots of hair on his head and long unkempt beard like the hippies.
After their school examinations were over they were looking forward to visit their homes in their home countries. And in anticipation they were getting ready to change their existing avatars to the new avatars that would look proper to their parents and friends in their home cities of their home countries. And the avatars which were thought to be decent and gentlemanly for the two sets of parents and friends were opposite of each other- turban and beard for the sardar and exacty opposite of this avatar for the English- he must be clean shaven with moderate and well groomed hair style. So, pronto, both of them got busy donning their new avatars to please their parents, relatives and the countrymen.
Do you see the different definitions of decent and sophisticated to the two sets of people? So, it’s true that one person’s food is other person’s poison.
Let us see one more example where people adopt two diametrically opposite ways of doing the same thing and feel that what they do is the best way. We all know that a sweet dish or dessert is served after the main meal is over but in some communities they start their meals with sweet dishes and desserts.
And if you ask them the reason of adopting their particular ways, they will tell you the reasons quite intelligently and with great sentimentality and try to convince you that theirs is the best way.
In thousands of our seminars for general public and for people of the corporate sector, we have invariably found that the seminar participants’ response to any of the management exercises or case studies we give them to solve is not the same. Most times, it is pretty different from each other.
Sometimes we invite them to give solution to a situation of an air crash in the jungles of Assam (India). The air crash situation reads something like this:
“An airplane with 74 passengers on board developed engine trouble while flying over the jungles of Assam (India). The pilot managed to send out an SOS message just before the plane crashed into the jungles. Time: 3.12 pm.
All members of the crew died except the pilot and there were in all seven survivors. (We tell each participant of the seminar to imagine that the participant himself was traveling in that airplane and he was one of the seven).
There were two women survivors, one of them is badly injured and is losing blood fast.
The plane exploded shortly after crashing but some of the survivors had managed to retrieve some items before the explosion. They could not, however, retrieve any food or water. The pilot had taken a bearing just before the engine trouble developed. He reckons that the plane crashed about 100 kilometers (62.5 miles) from the nearest inhabited area. To reach it would mean marching through thick forest with heavy undergrowth, crossing streams and fending off wild animals that abound in these jungles.
After recovering from the shock, the survivors began discussing what to do. Should they stay put? Should they march towards the nearest civilization?
It soon became apparent that no agreement was being reached by the survivors. In fact there seemed to be a struggle for leadership, some friction was developing and the group realized this might jeopardize all of them.
(Then, we tell the participants of our seminar that since you were one of the travelers and since you remained the most calm and objective, the group agreed that it would abide by your decision as to who should be the leader. It was also agreed that you could not choose yourself as leader. Then, we give to each participant of the seminar some details about his co-survivors. We ask him to read those details and then take decision as to whom he would choose as leader).
Given below are those details of the survivors:
Captain Sunder: is the pilot of the crashed airplane. He had managed to retrieve some maps before the aircraft exploded. He is 44 years old and takes his duties very seriously. He feels that as a captain of the plane, the survivors are his responsibility and should listen to him. He hopes that his SOS was heard and wants everyone to remain near the aircraft wreckage till a rescue team arrives.
Miss Moses: is 22 years old, a botanist who studied the flora of Assam. She is a gentle person, not comfortable with the friction being generated and a bit of a pacifist. She has managed to retrieve a first-aid kit and some tarpaulin from the aircraft. She has been a girl guide at school.
Raj Kumar: comes from an aristocratic family. He is 35 years old and kept himself very fit by playing polo. He has captained his polo team to many victories. He was going to
Assam on a fishing trip and has managed to save his rods and fishing tackle from the flames. He is very sociable. He believes that “leaders are born” and assumes that the others will listen to him. He would like the group to march on to the nearest village under his guidance.
Shanti Lal: is 48 years old, a bit stout and likes his food and drinks. He has managed to retrieve his bottle of brandy, cigars and lighter from the aircraft. He is a self-made businessman who had managed to gradually develop a vast business empire. He is humorous but can be also very tough. Being used to commanding and coordinating, he also tried to get the group listen to him.
Mahinder Singh: is a hunter by profession and has been asked by the Assam Government to track down a rogue elephant that was destroying crops. He is 28 years old, generally quiet but capable of losing his temper violently. He has managed to retrieve his rifle and some cartridges and wants the group to head for civilization.
Having given these details, we ask each participant: whom would you choose as leader?
We will also request all of you readers of this air-crash situation to tick out your choice for the leader.
What’s your guess? Who should be chosen as the leader among the five persons listed here? Is that Miss Moses? Or is your choice Captain Sunder? Are you sure that Raj kumar deserves to be the leader or Shanti Lal beats them all hollow. And are you saying, “No one is really more appropriate than Mahinder Singh.”
In our thousands of seminars with more than 100,000 people who participated in our seminars, every one of the five candidates was chosen as leader by some participant or other and every one’s reasons to choose his candidate were not identical. In many cases even though two or more participants chose the same candidate as the leader, their reasons were not identical. But everyone was very sure that his choice was the most correct. Perhaps, right now you too are thinking the same way, “Mine is right, how can people think of choosing the candidates other than mine?”
When we make them to discuss and sort out their differences in their choices and come to a common name for the leader, more than 99% times, no consensus is arrived. They agree to disagree. At times, they lose their control in the discussions, become emotional, start talking lose, getting personal, start shouting, taking row with each other, abusing others and only short of fisticuffs. We give them almost 45 minutes to an hour to come to a common platform but they cannot do it.
Interesting? Yes, it is. Everyone displays his uniqueness. Everyone has different look at the same topic, everyone thinks and argues his stand differently and not willing to buzz.
But when we ask them to add 2 + 3, every one, yes, every one gives the same answer: addition of 2 + 3 is 5. There is no argument, there is no conflict.
We will come up with the answers in the subsequent posts. Till then, think.
Related Posts (please read in the following order)
- HSoftware (Human Beings: Hardware and Software): http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/04/02/hsoftware/
- HSoftware (Evey Human Being Is Unique): http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/04/05/hsoftware-every-human-being-is-unique/
- HSoftware (Why This Uniqueness?): http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/04/07/hsoftware-why-this-uniqueness/
- HSoftware (Uniqueness and Effectiveness): http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/04/11/hsoftware-uniqueness-and-effectiveness/
- HSoftware (Fundamental Constituents of HSoftware): http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/04/19/hsoftware-fundamental-constituents-of-hsoftware/
- HSoftware (More Correct HSoftware Gives Better Effectiveness) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/05/29/hsoftware-more-correct-hsoftware-gives-better-effectiveness/
- HSoftware (Human Beliefs or Human Value Structure: First Element of HSoftware) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/06/09/hsoftware-human-beliefs-or-human-value-structure-first-element-of-hsoftware/
- HSoftware (Knowledge and Information Base: Second Element of HSoftware) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/06/15/hsoftware-knowledge-and-information-base-second-element-of-hsoftware/
- HSoftware (Paradigms, Mindsets or Thinking Patterns: Third Element of HSoftware) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/06/26/hsoftware-paradigms-mindsets-or-thinking-patterns-third-element-of-hsoftware/
- HSoftware (More on Paradigms and Paradigm Shift) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/07/10/hsoftware-more-on-paradigms-and-paradigm-shift/
- HSoftware (Willpower to Do: Fourth Element of HSoftware) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/07/26/hsoftware-willpower-to-do-fourth-element-of-hsoftware/
- HSoftware (Acquisition of the HSoftware) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/08/06/hsoftware-acquisition-of-the-hsoftware/
- HSoftware (Change for Better): http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/08/20/hsoftware-change-for-better/
- HSoftware (More on Change in Paradigms) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/08/27/hsoftware-more-on-change-in-paradigms/
- HSoftware (Effectiveness: All about Willpower to Learn; Acquiring Values, Knowledge and Paradigms; Willpower to Do) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/09/08/hsoftware-effectiveness-all-about-willpower-to-learn-acquiring-values-knowledge-and-paradigms-willpower-to-do/
- HSoftware (Levels of Competencies) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/09/24/hsoftware-levels-of-competencies/
- HSoftware (Soft Skills- Applied Emotional Intelligence) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/10/22/hsoftware-soft-skills-applied-emotional-intelligence/
- HSoftware (Competency Matrix: The Procedure for Competency Development and to Become Effective) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/11/08/hsoftware-competency-matrix-the-procedure-for-competency-development-and-to-become-effective/
- HSoftware (Putting HSoftware Model to Work for You) http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2018/11/10/hsoftware-putting-hsoftware-model-to-work-for-you/
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Books Suggested for Your Professional, Personal and Organizational Libraries (All the titles listed below are available as paperbacks and eBooks online from Amazon- you can read the ebooks absolutely free if you are kindleunlimited, KOLL or Amazon Prime subscribers)
Management, Business, Self-help and Personality Development Books
- HSoftware (Human Software) (The Only Key to Higher Effectiveness)
- Sensitive Stories of Corporate World (Management Case Studies)
- Sensitive Stories of Corporate World (Volume 2) (Management Case Studies)
- Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
- Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers (Volume 2)
- Classic Team Building Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
- 101 Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
- Stress? No Way!! (Handbook on Stress Management)
- HSoftware (Shyam Bhatawdekar’s Effectiveness Model)
- Competency Management (Competency Matrix and Competencies)
- Soft Skills You Can’t Do Without (Goal Setting, Time Management, Assertiveness and Anger Management)
- Essentials of Work Study (Method Study and Work Measurement)
- Essentials of Time Management (Taking Control of Your Life)
- Essentials of 5S Housekeeping
- Essentials of Quality Circles
- Essentials of Goal Setting
- Essentials of Anger Management
- Essentials of Assertive Behavior
- Essentials of Performance Management and Performance Appraisal
- Health Essentials (Health Is Wealth)
- Essentials of Effective Communication
- The Romance of Intimacy (How to Enhance Intimacy in a Relationship?)
Novels, Stories, Biographies and Travelogues
- The Peace Crusaders (Novel: how the peace crusaders established permanent peace on a war strewn planet?)
- Love Knows No Bounds (Novel: a refreshingly different love story. Also available with the title “Good People”)
- Funny (and Not So Funny) Short Stories
- Stories Children Will Love (Volume 1: Bhanu-Shanu-Kaju-Biju and Dholu Ram Gadbad Singh)
- My Father (Biography)
- Travelogue: Scandinavia, Russia
- Travelogue: Europe