One of the most important aspects of developing your assertiveness is to develop your capability of saying “no” to all those things to which you do not wish to say “yes”.
When you yield to or succumb to other people’s requests, demands, desires, wishes, expectations etc particularly when you do not wish to do so, you are being unnecessarily becoming submissive. Other people are likely to take advantage of you, manipulate you and you are likely to feel exploited. You are overburdening yourself and wasting your precious time.
So exercise your right to say “no” and become assertive.
Assess your priorities. Understand what matters to you most. What is important for you. Then focus on such things. Ignore other things.
Therefore before taking any new or additional commitments, responsibilities or tasks find out if they anyway relate to your own priorities. If they do not, you can reject them appropriately.
By not getting distracted on unnecessary issues, you are putting in your time, efforts and resources only on your own priorities. So do not feel guilty saying “no”. You are not being selfish in saying “no”. Do it with tact. Be polite. Don’t be rude.
People will cajole you or even threaten you to accept and accede to their requirements. Do not get swayed and pressurised. Take control in your hands and appropriately say “no”. Remain calm. Don’t get upset, nervous or angry. There is no need to even give reasons or explanations for not accepting their requests or demands on you. At times there is no harm doing so but there is no need to overdo it or feel apologetic. You may even suggest them alternative solutions or direct them to people or agencies that might help them.
(On reading this post you may feel interested in everything you must know about what is assertive behavior and how to develop it by reading the book “Essentials of Assertive Behavior”. This book is available as a paperback and eBook from Amazon. You can order it online by going to Amazon’s website).
Books Suggested for Your Professional, Personal and Organizational Libraries (All the titles listed below are available as paperbacks and eBooks online from Amazon- you can read the ebooks absolutely free if you are kindleunlimited, KOLL or Amazon Prime subscribers)
Management, Business, Self-help and Personality Development Books
- HSoftware (Human Software) (The Only Key to Higher Effectiveness)
- Sensitive Stories of Corporate World (Management Case Studies)
- Sensitive Stories of Corporate World (Volume 2) (Management Case Studies)
- Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
- Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers (Volume 2)
- Classic Team Building Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
- 101 Classic Management Games, Exercises, Energizers and Icebreakers
- Stress? No Way!! (Handbook on Stress Management)
- HSoftware (Shyam Bhatawdekar’s Effectiveness Model)
- Competency Management (Competency Matrix and Competencies)
- Soft Skills You Can’t Do Without (Goal Setting, Time Management, Assertiveness and Anger Management)
- Essentials of Work Study (Method Study and Work Measurement)
- Essentials of Time Management (Taking Control of Your Life)
- Essentials of 5S Housekeeping
- Essentials of Quality Circles
- Essentials of Goal Setting
- Essentials of Anger Management
- Essentials of Assertive Behavior
- Essentials of Performance Management and Performance Appraisal
- Health Essentials (Health Is Wealth)
- Essentials of Effective Communication
- The Romance of Intimacy (How to Enhance Intimacy in a Relationship?)
Novels, Stories, Biographies and Travelogues
- The Peace Crusaders (Novel: how the peace crusaders established permanent peace on a war strewn planet?)
- Love Knows No Bounds (Novel: a refreshingly different love story. Also available with the title “Good People”)
- Funny (and Not So Funny) Short Stories
- Stories Children Will Love (Volume 1: Bhanu-Shanu-Kaju-Biju and Dholu Ram Gadbad Singh)
- My Father (Biography)
- Travelogue: Scandinavia, Russia
- Travelogue: Europe