Stress Management: Forgive and Forget

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Alternate Methods/Techniques of Stress Management

Many people use many alternative techniques to cope up with their stresses and strains.

We are including some of these alternative techniques in our various blog posts, one technique in one post. Though certain methodologies have been suggested for these techniques, you need not have to copy them ditto in any ritualistic way. You can introduce some suitable adjustments in them in order to help them suit your requirements for your own comfort.

The nomenclatures may vary. Yet, some often-used labels have been assigned to these techniques.

In this post we are describing one of such alternate techniques of stress management called “Forgive and Forget”.

Forgive and Forget: An Alternate Technique/Method of Stress Management

It is not always easy, but the benefits of forgiving and forgetting can be powerful for emotional health and peace of mind.

Ideally both forgiving and forgetting should be done simultaneously for the best effect.

Some people say that they can forgive but cannot forget the wrong done to them. This will not give them complete peace of mind because they will keep remembering the painful past and it will keep troubling them and no one else. So why not forget too?

If you find difficulty in forgetting fully and the painful events come back to your mind now and then, it will be best to allow them but remember them graciously without letting them hurt you. Try to stop or filter out the bitterness the painful remembrance brings along with it. And stop or diminish your tendency of self-pity and hostility.

At times you may not be yet ready to forgive fully. In this case you can resort to decisional forgiveness. Decisional forgiveness involves choosing to let go of angry thoughts
about the person you feel has wronged you or you may decide to cut off your relationship with this person. Yet, the ultimate action will be the emotional forgiveness in which you replace the negative emotions such as resentment, bitterness, hostility, hatred, anger, and fear with love, compassion, sympathy and empathy.

You can use visualization method or cognitive method to forgive and forget.

In visualization method you can recall the painful incident and the related subjects in your imagination. Then suggest to yourself to gradually minimize the size of the visual display and see it getting minimized and then finally see it blanked out. Or you can visualize it and then crumple it and put it into a virtual dust bin/waste paper basket.

In cognitive method, recall the person who wronged you and say aloud or silently, “I have forgiven you without any grudge against you. I have also forgotten that incident and it will never haunt me again.”

So after you forgive and forget and once your emotional or mental health starts improving and you leave behind your stresses and strains, your physical health will also improve. Forgiving and forgetting will result in reducing anger, bitterness, resentment and other negative emotions and reducing the stress. It will help in strengthening the relationships. Additionally forgiving and forgetting will help maintain normal blood pressure and reducing pain (including back pain), stomach ailments and headaches.

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About Shyam Bhatawdekar

35 years’ industrial/business experience as a top executive & 35 years’ parallel academic/consultancy experience in general management, behavioral sciences & technology. Areas: general management, production, human resources, industrial engineering, systems, MIS, computers, corporate planning, audit, sales/marketing. Penchant for information technology & behavioral sciences; integrated with conventional technology makes him unique thought leader. Conversant with academic theories & realities of business, fuses the two into practical approaches. Was associated with Tata Motors, Hindustan Motors, Hindustan Aeronautics & ThyssenKrupp; held top positions as highflier executive. Presently Chairman & Managing Director, Prodcons Group associating with 250 organizations; providing management & I T consultations & conducting seminars/workshops. Been a faculty for IIM’s, TMTC, Railway & HAL Staff Colleges, Symbiosis. Speaker with 35000 hours’ experience benefitting more than 100,000 people. Published 35 articles in Economic Times, Indian Management & Computers Today. Authored 27 books. Invited as key speaker in seminars by AIMA, HRD Network, NIPM, QCFI, CSI, NPC. Widely traveled. Education: Engineering & Management.
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4 Responses to Stress Management: Forgive and Forget

  1. Emmie says:

    I enjoyed this post. It was practical.

  2. Rod says:

    Just wanted to tell you, I liked this blog post. It was great.

  3. Josh says:

    I enjoyed this post. Great!

  4. David says:

    This text is invaluable.

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