You may like to read related literature on family management and management of married life on the following URLs:
(Family Management) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Mission statement for Families) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/2011/03/mission-statement-for-families.html
(Life Management and Life Skills: Life Time Model) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/2011/07/life-time-model-and-life-skills-life.html
(Do You Have the Right Kind of Skill Sets and Competencies to Run Your Marriage and Family Effectively?) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/2011/03/do-you-have-right-kind-of-skill-sets.html
Need for Tutorials in Building Intimacy in Your Marriage
The fact of life is that you live with your parents and brothers and sisters for just about 15 to 20 years of your entire life. You live with your own children only for 15 to 20 years of your life. And you live with your spouse for around 60 years of your life if you got married at the age of 30 and you are going to live till your age of 90 years.
So isn’t it very obvious that you should invest more of your time and efforts in building up your married life? Don’t you think you need to do whatever it needs to keep up the relationship with your spouse and spruce it up further to new heights?
Over a period of time many of us get into a rut and forget what it needs to maintain and build up the relationship. So, here are some reminder lessons for you.
Here onwards each post on “Family Management” section of the blog will narrate one important lesson. Implement this lesson and practice it again and again till it becomes your habit and happens to you naturally.
The first tutorial “Give Positive Strokes to Your Spouse” was published at the URL: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2011/10/06/family-management-building-intimacy-in-marriage-lesson-1/
The second tutorial “Demonstrate Your Love, Affection and Care towards Your Spouse” was published at the URL: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2011/11/02/life-management-family-management-building-intimacy-in-marriage-lesson-2/
The third tutorial “Demonstrate Your Respect to Each Other” was published at the URL: http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2011/12/03/life-management-family-management-building-intimacy-in-marriage-lesson-3/
Here is your fourth tutorial. Do your homework now.
Lesson 4: Communicate a Lot
Implementing the following will easily pave way for duty-related,
intellectual, emotional and fun-filled communication between husband and wife:
- Praising and admiring your life partner every now and then for some reason or without any reason (Refer: lesson/tutorial 1 Give Positive Strokes to Your Spouse).
- Showering your love, affection and care on your spouse (Refer: lesson/tutorial 2 Demonstrate Your Love, Affection and Care towards Your Spouse).
- Respecting your spouse irrespective of any situation (Refer: lesson/tutorial 3 Demonstrate Your Respect to Each Other).
Start off with communication patterns both of you are mutually comfortable with. You may like to share the interesting day-to-day general news, office news, gossips, incidents and happenings. You may share with each other the plans for the evenings and the weekends. You may run through together your shopping lists for home, your child/children, your spouse and yourself. You may chalk out together the details of forthcoming parties, picnics and outings. You will like to tell regular and innocent jokes and amuse each other; soon to be able to exchange naughtier jokes. And all of this involves good degree of communication and so, do all of this.
Soon you may like to start talking on books, movies, plays, music, travel and sport. You can start exchanging things related to each others’ hobbies and interests. You may like to see together the same TV shows and movies all cuddled up and making silly comments on them. Holding each others’ hands and touching will enhance and enrich your communication intimacies.
Good communication isn’t just about verbal exchange. Frequent, scheduled and un-scheduled hugs and kisses and squeeze of hand can communicate lot more than what you can communicate by speaking. If you find you rarely touch your partner, it’s worth getting into this habit soon. Make a conscious effort to hold hands when you go out to movies or restaurants or any other events or walk together. If deeper physical intimacies have been off the agenda for some time, these new habits can help reopen them. You will soon learn to like to communicate elaborately on how you wish to make love. Then, an interesting, intimate and fulfilling part of your conversation can take place in the bed lying together under the sheets.
You will soon be quite comfortable communicating and discussing many other aspects. You will need to discuss your home finances and budgets, child’s/children’s education, self growth (personal and professional) and such important issues. You may like to discuss some quite vital family matters like how two of you wish to run your family over the next five to ten years (your family’s mission statement and objectives; refer http://shyam.bhatawdekar.net/index.php/2011/07/14/life-management-and-life-skills-family-mission-statement/).
You may also like to move on to those areas of communication that may involve frank expression of your individual opinions, some serious thinking, dissentions, conflicts, clearing the air etc.
You may like to speak lovingly, sincerely and honestly to sort out your anger or resentment towards your spouse, if any, without raising your finger at him/her. (It you haven’t been honest with each other for a long period of your married life, you may like to seek professional help and support of a counselor/confidant/confidante to sort out the things).
Once the husband and wife decide that they need to build up the intimacies in their married life (and this they should do without any exception very soon), they need to start to communicate and then graduate to communicate a lot. Really lots and lots. Soon they will learn open, decent, respectful, serious, fun-filled and sexy communication. Open, honest and sincere communication serves as an excellent lubricant that can run the marriage machine frictionless and smoothly giving hell of a lot of effectiveness and efficiency for a happy family.
It requires both (husband and wife) to build up strong and intimate relationship in marriage; it cannot be a one sided affair to be done only by wife or only by husband. Therefore, both husband and wife should read this tutorial together and start practicing it simultaneously. Of course, it does not mean that if wife has yet not started husband should wait and not start it too or vice-versa.
(Now all the posts related to building intimacy in relationships are available in a book form titled “The Romance of Intimacy”. You can obtain this book in its printed paperback format as well as an eBook from Amazon online)
For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation
Training in all the soft skills and various management functions/techniques is imparted by Prodcons Group’s Mr Shyam Bhatawdekar and/or Dr (Mrs) Kalpana Bhatawdekar, eminent management educationists, management consultants and trainers- par excellence, with distinction of having trained over 150,000 people from around 250 organizations.
Also refer: (Prodcons Group) http://prodcons-group.blogspot.com/, (Training Programs by Prodcons Group) http://training-development-function.blogspot.com/, (Productivity Consultants) http://productivity-consultants.blogspot.com/
Other Topics of Interest: Counseling: General and Psychological
(Anger Management) http://controlling-anger.blogspot.com/
(Children’s Behavior Problems) http://child-behavior-problems.blogspot.com/
(Cholesterol Control) http://controlling-cholesterol.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counselingfamily.blogspot.com/
(Counseling: Psychological) http://counseling-family.blogspot.com/
(Cross Cultural Etiquette) http://cross-cultural-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Do This Today) http://do-this-today.blogspot.com/
(Executive Etiquette and Manners)http://executive-manners.blogspot.com/
(Family Counseling) http://family-harmony.blogspot.com/
(Health: Homeopathy) http://homeopathy-medicines.blogspot.com/
(Life Management: Competencies) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/competency-matrix/6txz9nck6g3/4#
(Life Management: Effectiveness Management: HSoftware) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/management-in-life-profession-family/6txz9nck6g3/3#
(Life management: I Am Liberated)http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/i-am-liberated/6txz9nck6g3/6#view
(Marriage Counseling) http://marriage-counsel.blogspot.com/
(Ownership on Job) http://job-ownership.blogspot.com/
(Parental Responsibilities) http://parental-responsibilities.blogspot.com/
(Qualities of Spouse) http://spouse-qualities.blogspot.com/
(Quit Smoking) http://quit-smoking-plan.blogspot.com/
(Self Development) http://managing-self.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://managing-stress-strain.blogspot.com/
(Stress Management) http://management-of-stress.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://success-achievement.blogspot.com/
(Success in Life or Success) http://knol.google.com/k/shyam-bhatawdekar/success-in-life/6txz9nck6g3/14#view
(Swine Flu and Its Prevention) http://swine-flu-precaution.blogspot.com/
(Telephone Etiquette) http://telephone-etiquette.blogspot.com/
(Winners and Losers) http://winners-losers.blogspot.com/