Interpersonal Relations

Types of Interpersonal Behavior

• Invites respect and compliance when you manage, direct, advice, teach and lead
• Invites acceptance and trust when you help, support, sympathize and empathize
• Invites help and tenderness when you agree and act in friendly manner
• Invites advice and help when you seek help, trust, admire and respect
• Invites arrogance and superiority when you act shyly, modestly, dutifully, sensitively and obediently
• Invites punishment and rejection when you rebel, protest, be undisciplined, be skeptical
• Invites hostility and resistance when you attack, punish and be unkind
• Invites distrust and inferiority when you exploit, show-off, reject and boast

First four behavior patterns will support healthy interpersonal relationships.

Pre-requisites for Better Interpersonal Relations

• Respectful mutual communication
• Win-win relationships
• Improving balance in others’ emotional bank account
• Non-exploitative mutual transactions
• No ulterior motives
• Mutual trust
• Cooperation and support
• Genuine praise to each other
• Be of benefit to each other
• Take genuine interest in each other

FIRO-B (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations Orientation Behavior)

FIBO-B is used as an instrument to identify a person’s basic behavior patterns in interpersonal relations. The instrument produces six main scores: three on behavior expressed towards others and three on behavior wanted from others in the areas of inclusion, control andaffection.

Expressed behavior is the behavior which a person shows to others in his relations with them. Wanted behavior is the behavior which a person desires from others i.e. the behavior which he wants others to adopt when relating with him.

Inclusion

Expressed inclusion: The extent to which a person joins others and includes others in his activities.

Wanted inclusion: The extent to which a person wants to be included in the activities of people.

Control

Expressed control: The extent to which a person controls and influences others and is willing to accept responsibilities.

Wanted control: The extent to which a person wants others to control and influence him.

Affection

Expressed affection: The extent to which a person expresses affection and friendliness to others and tries to get close to them.

Wanted affection: The extent to which a person wants others to be affectionate, friendly and close to him.

A general interpretation of the scores FIRO-B test will not be a correct way of interpreting the results. Each of the scores under each of the pairs i.e. expressed inclusion and wanted inclusion, expressed control and wanted control, expressed affection and wanted affection will have to examined for a person taking the FIRO-B test and then, the results can be interpreted. As a very rough guide, higher scores in each head will indicate the person’s inclination for good interpersonal relations.

Emotional Bank Balance

• Interpersonal relations flourish when you open an emotional bank account with the other person and make emotional deposits into it. Your emotional deposits build up the trust level with the other person and then, he likes to maintain relationship with you.
• More the emotional deposits made by you with the other person, more safe will he feel with you. It is a measure of trust and therefore, safeness into a relationship.
• You can build up your emotional bank balance with the other person by developing understanding with him, showing courtesy and care, attending to his small and big needs, keeping up the promises made, maintaining personal integrity etc.
• Once your reserve or balance is high, even if you make a withdrawal by doing the acts opposite to what have been described in the earlier point, the other person will not mind it that much and will be willing to continue the relationship in the same smooth manner.
• With high deposits and balance, your communication, even if it is less than perfect, is very well understood by the other person in the right spirit. Thus, interpersonal communication becomes simpler and easier.
• You can easily withdraw from your emotional bank deposit when you show disrespect, behave discourteously, play superior etc. As this balance depletes, the trust level goes down and the quality of interpersonal relationship decreases.

For More Guidance, Assistance, Training and Consultation

Contact: prodcons@prodcons.com

Training in “Interpersonal Relations” and administering the “FIRO-B” and interpreting it’s scores for the individuals are done by ProdconsGroup’s Mr Shyam Bhatawdekar and/or Dr (Mrs) Kalpana Bhatawdekar, eminent management educationists, management consultants and trainers- par excellence, with distinction of having trained over 150,000 people from around 250 organizations.

Originally posted at http://interpersonal-relations.blogspot.com/ Monday, November 24, 2008